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Nate Silver Gunned Down Attempting To Cross Mexican Border With All 2016 Polling

  • Pacco Fransisco (3086 posts)
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    Nate Silver Gunned Down Attempting To Cross Mexican Border With All 2016 Polling

    EL PASO, TX—Saying they were forced to use lethal force after the statistician and FiveThirtyEight founder attempted to breach a secure checkpoint, United States Border Patrol agents confirmed Friday that Nate Silver was gunned down while trying to cross into Mexico with all the polling data from the 2016 general election.

    A government spokesperson stated that the 38-year-old political blogger, who presented a patrolman at the border crossing with a doctored U.S. passport listing his name as Rafael Ignacio Salvador, reportedly appeared agitated and nervous when responding to simple questions, resulting in his being flagged for further screening and apparently prompting his decision to flee. Silver is said to have rammed his vehicle into a patrol car during his attempt to evade authorities before trying to escape on foot with as many national and state-level opinion polls as he could carry, at which time he was shot repeatedly by multiple officers.

    <snip>

    “After he sideswiped a barricade, his trunk popped open, and all these Zogby and Pew surveys came flying out all over the road,” said long-haul trucker Ernesto Nunez, who described watching Silver struggle out of his wrecked vehicle still clutching an armful of high-sample-size phone and online opinion polls. “Even after they struck him a couple times, you could see he was still trying to hold onto as many A-plus–rated surveys as he could.”

    “He might have made it, too, if he’d just dumped all the Monmouth University tracking polls on the ground and made a quick break for the Rio Grande,”

    more at link

    http://www.theonion.com/article/nate-silver-gunned-down-attempting-cross-mexican-b-54595

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7 replies
  • Segami (3128 posts)
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    1. LOL!!

    :rofl:

  • CNW (2491 posts)
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    2. Thanks Pacco, I knew this was bound to happen . . .

    ‘Not a terribly safe position’: Nate Silver predicts Hillary Clinton is ‘one state away’ from losing Electoral College

    http://uk.businessinsider.com/nate-silver-hillary-clinton-donald-trump-election-prediction-2016-11?r=US&IR=T

  • libodem (972 posts)
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    3. If it weren't for my dubious nature

    Ya woulda had me. LOLOLOL

  • Hari (1033 posts)
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    4. My, but we have the most talented moderators here.

    It is a profound relief to experience humor during this mind boggling farce that is called an “election”.  Thank you a million times!

     

  • 2bAnon (3903 posts)
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    5. If the Header was written by someone else, I probably wouldn't have clicked.

    but that was really funny..  we need all the humor can be mustered.  :toast:

     

    http://jackpineradicals.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/sergiolara2-1.mp3

     
     
  • share (355 posts)
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    6. I chuckled at the headline and couldn't stop laughing once I saw the car!

  • so far from heaven (7337 posts)
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    7. I don't know. Source seems kinda suspicious to me.

    Pacco, not the onion.

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    Bite me Deadpool.     "When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'" -Groucho Marx