A cop knocked on my door a little after 7 this morning to tell me my daughter had been found dead.

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    • #461368
      Ohio Barbarian
      Moderator
      • Total Posts: 25,301

      The guy looked miserable, and he delivered the news as best as anyone could reasonably expect. I will call or email the Euclid Police to let them know I appreciate them sending a human being; it’s a helluva lot better to find out that way than it is to find out on the Internet, which is how I discovered my mom had died a few months ago.

      My daughter was just a couple of days from her 33rd birthday, and was found in her apartment after a neighbor hadn’t seen her for a couple of days. It looks like an overdose. She was seriously mentally ill, and in a civilized country she would have gotten some help that probably would have made a huge difference, but America has a capitalist mental health care system. Meaning you only get help if you’re rich enough to pay for it, and we weren’t.

      A parent should never have to bury his child or scatter her ashes. If anyone is curious as to why I’m so passionate about health care as a human right, and why I positively hate our kleptocratic oligarchy, this is why. If anyone wants to know why I feel so betrayed by Democrats in general and progressive Democrats in particular, this is why. They promised to do something. They lied. Right now, I’d burn them alive if I could, but the Spanish Inquisition is never around when you need them. Neither are killer rabbits.

      It is an imperfect multiverse.

      Republicans never cared, and always preached for the for-profit system, but at least they openly let me know that they didn’t share my values and would never do anything to help. Betrayal is far worse.

      My daughter was an intelligent, tortured soul who didn’t care much for people but loved animals, especially turtles and snakes. She could have been so much more, but she never really had much of a chance.

      So it goes. —Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

       

       

      Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

      The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #461376
      NV Wino
      Moderator
      • Total Posts: 9,647

      😢

      “As we act, let us not become the evil that we deplore.” Barbara Lee
      “Politicians and pro athletes: The only people who still get paid when they lose.” William Rivers Pitt

    • #461380
      tk2kewl
      Participant
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    • #461388
      Mr. Mickeys Mom
      Moderator
      • Total Posts: 8,338

      This must be torture … I see every word you wrote with a new clarity, and I am so saddened.

      Hell, no... I'm not giving up...

      • #461897
        Ohio Barbarian
        Moderator
        • Total Posts: 25,301

        I wouldn’t wish this on either Obama or Trump.

        Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

        The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #461391
      mrdmk
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 4,517

      Below is a small piece which addresses a mother, yet can be directed to any family member: father, siblings, aunt, uncle, a friend

       

      “The Special Mother” by Erma Bombeck

      Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?

      Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

      “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia”

      “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew”

      “This one gets a son. The Patron saint… give her Gerard.

      He’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles.

      “Give her a disabled child”.
The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy”

      “Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!”

      “But has she patience?” asks the angel.

      “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

      “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you”

      God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect – she has just enough selfishness”

      The angel gasps – “Selfishness? is that a virtue?”

      God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally she won’t survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ‘spoken word’. She will never consider any ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see… ignorance, cruelty and prejudice…and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side”

      “And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.

      God smiles… “A mirror will suffice.”

       

      Peace and Love MrDMK

      If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit WC Fields

      Warning DO NOT CLICK HERE!
    • #461392
      soryang
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 2,631

      Sincere condolences to you and your loved ones.

      惑世誣民 혹세무민

    • #461394
      djean111
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 9,081

      So sorry for you, and for your daughter.  And yes, about the Democrats.

      America is not a country, it's just a business. (Brad Pitt, Killing Them Softly)

      "Sometimes when I try to understand a person's motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst. What's the worst reason they could possibly have for saying what they say and doing what they do? Then I ask myself, 'How well does that reason explain what they say and what they do?'" Baelish

      VFTBNMW is, IMO, literally "take the blue pill".

    • #461398
      kelly
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      • Total Posts: 589

      i wish there were some magic words to be had.

      sorry doesnt begin

    • #461399
      Snort McDork
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 5,675

      I’m sorry to hear this. My condolences to your family for this loss.

      There is nothing wrong (to my knowledge) to only relating to animals.

      I'm Snort McDork and I approved this message.

      "I like Birdy Num-Nums"

    • #461405
      Pam2
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    • #461407
      jbnw
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 9,912

      First thought – horrible way to find out.

      But then, there is no good way to get that news.

      I am so sorry – there aren’t even good words to express it. I hope you can keep good memories of her.

    • #461409
      Pastiche
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      • Total Posts: 510
    • #461411
      Awknid2
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      • Total Posts: 22

      I hope you will remember the happy times first and take comfort in knowing she’s at peace.

    • #461413
      lownslow
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      • Total Posts: 1,242
    • #461417
      snot
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,517

      I’m sure no words can express it.  I’m so very, very sorry.

      Please know that I and other friends here will be thinking of you.

      https://democraticunderground.com/emoticons/grouphug.gif

      Destruction is easy; creation is hard, but more interesting.

    • #461424
      Satan
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 6,174

      "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable". - John F. Kennedy

    • #461426
      Coyote
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 98

      Since becoming a father, this is one of those lurking fears you hope never manifest and tears the heart out when hearing about it happening to others.  I hope she’s at peace, wherever she is.  And I hope you find your peace (But don’t stop trying to take a piece out of those eejit politicians).

       

      On a side note, I tried to describe to a friend years ago how being a parent is an exercise in controlled terror.  I still stand by that.

      • #461898
        Ohio Barbarian
        Moderator
        • Total Posts: 25,301

        It helps. Good statement about parenting, too.

        Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

        The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #461434
      beemerphill
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 153

      And there is little that we can do to lessen your pain. Your feeling about Democrats is so right on. The best that we can do is try to elect those who at least promise to fix this sorry medical system that we have. Most of them will not deliver, but a few of them might. May your daughter be at peace now.

      beemerphill

    • #461435
      Passionate Progressive
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 5,657

      You’re so right that a parent should never have to bury a child.

      We all grieve for you here……………Peace to you and your family and loved ones.

      The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.....Martin Luther King '63

      It takes all the technical proficiency our system can provide to make up for the woeful lack of popular support and political savvy of most of the regimes that the West has thus far sought to prop up.........Bernard Fall

    • #461438
      HassleCat
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 9,177

      Loss of a child is about the toughest thing. I hope you are OK.

    • #461441
      Babel 17
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 6,963

      It can be not just a sense of loss but a feeling of living with a curse, “this cursed earth” as has been said. There is no remedy, but maybe with time there can be an acceptance.

      Don't Kill the Whale
      Don't feed the trolls

      • #461899
        Ohio Barbarian
        Moderator
        • Total Posts: 25,301

        My intellect helps hold me up, aided by some teachings of now dead Japanese Zen masters. An acceptance is the best that can be hoped for, I think.

        Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

        The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #461442
      surrealAmerican
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,156

      That is a nightmare.

      I agree about healthcare, too.

    • #461466
      Joe Shlabotnik
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,716

      My heart breaks for you. I lost my daughter as an infant, and that was difficult. But I think its 33x worse what you’re going through. Please be kind to yourself, and take care of yourself and your family. I hope eventually, and not before too long you all find some peace.

      ~ All good things are Wild and Free ~

    • #461484
      Utopian Leftist
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,209

      And I know from experience that it is easier to purchase a gun in this country, or lethal pills, than it is to find decent, affordable mental health care. Ludicrous.

      My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Please don’t be hard on yourself. This is not a reflection of you, but of a profoundly sick culture.

      “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~ Krishnamurti
      "Given the choice between a Republican and a Democrat who acts like a Republican, the voter will choose a Republican every time." ~ Harry Truman

      • #461900
        Ohio Barbarian
        Moderator
        • Total Posts: 25,301

        Focused anger can sometimes be healthy. I saw on local news that the Ohio National Guard was manning a drive-thru Covid test site instead of some of the local food banks. The traffic around the food banks degenerated accordingly.

        Fuck the food banks! Covid’s gonna kill us all! Panic and call for lockdowns!

        Of course, none of those lockdown advocates give a shit about the ongoing opioid epidemic, either. On the contrary, many of them celebrate the deaths of its rural white victims.

        Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

        The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #461485
      PADemD
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      • Total Posts: 2,367

      My condolences to you and your family.  May your daughter Rest In Peace.

    • #461486
      Bernie Boomer
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 680

      To you and those dear to you. I wish you time, to grieve, to wail, to gnash your teeth, to begin to find a path through this but for now, just time to be. I wish you courage as you remake your life without your child.
      I can only imagine what you are feeling and it breaks my heart.
      I hope you can find a quiet place for now. A space to breathe.

    • #461514
      3fingerbrown
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 4,184

      So sorry to hear this OB. I can’t imagine a worse feeling. Condolences to you and your family my friend.

      All governments lie to their citizen's, but only Americans believe theirs.

    • #461522
      Snort McDork
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 5,675

      @ohiobarbarian

       

      I'm Snort McDork and I approved this message.

      "I like Birdy Num-Nums"

    • #461527
      eridani
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 12,208

      Makes me want Medicare for All all the more.  She would likely still be here if we had a sane medical system

      Jesus: Hey, Dad? God: Yes, Son? Jesus: Western civilization followed me home. Can I keep it? God: Certainly not! And put it down this minute--you don't know where it's been! Tom Robbins in Another Roadside Attraction

    • #461554
      KenTankerous
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,434

      So sorry, brother. What a rotten thing to have happen.

      I lost my Dad during the holiday season…..makes it worse somehow.

      Courage, brother.  Lots of people care about you.

      "If we define an American fascist as one who in case of conflict puts money and power ahead of human beings, then there are undoubtedly several million fascists in the United States."
      - Henry A. Wallace
      (FDR's Vice President until he was forced out by the corrupt forces of obscene wealth.)

    • #461568
      Hobbit709
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      • Total Posts: 3,047

      That sucks at any time of year but especially now.

      I don't waste my time teaching pigs to sing.

    • #461583
      Populist Prole
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 633

      My deepest sympathies.

    • #461605
      Jim Lane
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 1,092

      Maybe you had found someone else’s article about losing a child because of our health care system.

      Alas, no.

      You and I disagree about many political things, but we agree about single payer. I mourn for your daughter and all the others suffering and dying in the name of profit.

    • #461901
      Ohio Barbarian
      Moderator
      • Total Posts: 25,301

      This is going to take awhile.

      Never let your morals stop you from doing the right thing.--Isaac Asimov

      The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them.--Julius Nyerere

    • #462520
      Enthusiast
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 5,155

      You have my greatest sympathy.

      I would like to remind you that U.S. health insurance companies do not contribute anything to health care. They are only a PARASITIC middle man receiving an undeserved cut of "FREE MONEY".

      Me

    • #462826
      emme
      Participant
      • Total Posts: 336
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