Carjacker arrested because he couldn't drive a stick shift.
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25-year-old Florida man Jaelyn Alexander carjacked a man in Orlando and thought he had a clean getaway. That is until he looked down where the automatic transmission should have been and was instead confronted with the equivalent of a cryptex for every person under the age of forty. A manual stick shift. There should really just be a Saw movie where all the people have to do to escape is a drive a stick shift out of there. They’d all die. Presumably, Alexander would’ve had an easier time commandeering a submarine, so he’s in jail now.
Alexander didn’t even bother trying to figure out the manual transmission, actually. He saw it, probably said “Fuck this shit”, and then ran over to another car and stole that instead. But the jig was already up. Alexander had been identified, police had been called, and it didn’t take long for them to find the double carjacker.
I don't waste my time teaching pigs to sing.
July 23, 2019 at 12:16 PM #89956elias39Participant
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“…the equivalent of a cryptex for every person under the age of forty”
July 23, 2019 at 12:49 PM #89970PunxsutawneyModerator
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My wife and ny cars are sticks. She prefers them of all things. My sons can drive them as well. But that’s too funny. Oops!
Getting harder and harder to find manuals, even in outright sports cars.
In America, “Liberty” means “Free to Die in Service of Capital” - Amfortas the hippie
July 23, 2019 at 1:47 PM #89987NV WinoModerator
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Yep. Try leaving a manual transmission with a valet car park.
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