Conservative evangelical pastor suggests to his followers that God will help multiply their toilet rolls amid the coronavirus pandemic.
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April 2, 2020 at 9:59 PM - Views: 50 #296742N2DocParticipant
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In a clip posted to Twitter, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, leader of the Florida-based Revival Ministries International, told his congregation that “this should be a time of supernatural sustenance, where what you have in your hand will multiply.”
“And every day there will be multiplications,” he continued. “You look at your toilet paper and you think I’m going to run out of toilet paper, but you have another roll where that one was and you don’t know how did that even take place.”
Howard-Brown added: “Are the toilet paper rolls getting together and having families now? What is taking place? When you look again, there’s still enough. You think you’re going to run out but when you look again there’s still enough. That’s supernatural sustenance.”
Shit and He shall provide!
April 2, 2020 at 10:15 PM #296754Red CloudParticipant
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So there should be a shocking increase in diphallia in the region.
From the ever informative Wikipedia:
Diphallia, penile duplication (PD), diphallic terata, or diphallasparatus, is an extremely rare developmental abnormality in which a male is born with <b>two</b> <b>penises</b>.
April 2, 2020 at 10:19 PM #296758
April 2, 2020 at 10:31 PM #296768
April 2, 2020 at 10:34 PM #296770SatanParticipant
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When a whole 18 wheeler full of TP went up in flames in Texas.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable". - John F. Kennedy
April 2, 2020 at 11:38 PM #296816NV WinoModerator
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April 3, 2020 at 12:05 AM #296835GZeusHParticipant
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I wonder if Rodney is going to celebrate the roll that was only supposed to last one day, but actually lasted eight with a December holiday where you light the rolls on fire and say a blessing?
Corporate America consists of totalitarian entities laser-focused on short-term greed.
April 3, 2020 at 12:16 AM #296843HassleCatParticipant
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Since they all insist on packing themselves close together in church, many of them will get the virus and die. There will be plenty of TP to go around. Assuming the survivors don’t horde. Oops.Hoard. A horde of hoarders.
April 3, 2020 at 12:27 AM #296855bazukhovParticipant
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Hopefully, the sacred sheets will all be embossed with a portrait of Trump.
Tell me, great captain, how do the angels sleep when the devil leaves his porch light on? Tom Waites
April 3, 2020 at 10:45 AM #297144
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