Florida man wants the U.S. military to fight Hurricane Dorian with ice

Homepage | Forums | JackPine Radical Rooms | The Village Idiot | Florida man wants the U.S. military to fight Hurricane Dorian with ice

  • Author
  • #137092

    • Total Posts: 6,701

    Hurricane Dorian is currently a catastrophic Category 5 hurricane lumbering towards the U.S. coastline at 5 mph, and while there are plenty of smart things to do in the meantime, one Florida man thinks the military should just drop some ice in the water.

    “I don’t see how they haven’t come up with some way to combat these storms yet,” said an unidentified Palm Bay man to Florida Today‘s Tyler Vasquez.


    “All this warm weather and warm water. We have Navy,” he says, looking directly at the camera. “Why don’t the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it don’t, so it can’t get going as fast as it’s going,” he says, wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

    Not stopping at ice, the Palm Bay man also would like the Air Force to get involved.

    “There’s gotta be ways to combat this, other than just pointing at the thing and going, ‘Well, now it’s getting worse,'” he says, laughing. “Well we know it’s getting worse. But you tell us, ‘Oh it’s the warm weather. Oh, it’s the wind.’ Drive some Air Force planes around to get the winds going the other way. The Navy to go in circles, to fight it the other way.”



  • #137162

    • Total Posts: 250

    Yeah!  Where is Superman when we need him?  I mean, after all, if he can counter rotate the Earth in to yesterday to save Lois Lane, surely a little thing like a Cat 5 hurricane would be child’s play to counter rotate?  (Food for thought:  Hurricanes formed south of the Equator spin in the opposite direction as those formed north of the Equator.  So would counter rotating a hurricane cause it to slow and stop, or would it be like a yo-yo on the end of a string, simply spinning back and forth till it played out?)

    You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here.

  • #137223

    NV Wino
    • Total Posts: 4,585

    Well, I want to know why they don’t just disappear in The Devil’s Triangle. I mean if they’re a little off course, the Air Force and the Navy could just do a little hurricane herding. Get it back on course. Maybe it would even churn up all those missing WWII planes.

    “As we act, let us not become the evil that we deplore.” Barbara Lee
    “Politicians and pro athletes: The only people who still get paid when they lose.” William Rivers Pitt

  • #137225

    • Total Posts: 2,872

    You never know when someone is joking around, or is serious.

  • #137237

    • Total Posts: 2,300

    I got a better idea, not ice, but…..you ready for this……golf clubs.   You know how golfers always slice on a clutch shot?  It’s not the fault of the golfer, it’s the golf CLUB.  Drop a few thousand golf clubs into the hurricane, it will slice right out into the Atlantic.  I’ll bet there’s enough golf clubs at the Moron Lago resort, that if they were all dropped on Dorian, it would slice 50 miles to the north east*.


    *Added benefit: now that all golf clubs have been requisitioned by the government as a National Emergency, there would be no need for golf courses, and the clubhouses could be used to house homeless people.

  • #137302

    • Total Posts: 4,999

    “Why don’t the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it don’t, so it can’t get going as fast as it’s going,

    They can’t because the glaciers are melting. Duh.


  • #154138

    • Total Posts: 219

    Maybe one of Vonnegut’s kids has some Ice-9 put up somewhere.

    That would do it.

    "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." - Asimov; "If you push something hard enough, it will fall over." - Fud's First Law of Opposition

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.