Gilbert Shelton: Fat Freddy's Cat

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  • #296031

    eridani
    Donor
    • Total Posts: 5,292
    @eridani

    This guy just does not do the internet, so I’m going from memory

    I’m Fat Freddy’s Cat
    and I’m mean and tough
    And I take no guff
    When I strut my stuff
    I’m so ornery and so full of piss
    If I don’t like your looks I’ll hit you with this!
    Pffttttt!! Hiss!

    If you see me coming
    Better step aside
    A lot of cats wouldn’t
    And a lot of cats couldn’t
    Hand a lickin’ to a chicken
    Or a Razzin’ to a rat
    After they finished messin’ around
    With Fat Freddy’s Cat.

    Heeeere kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!
    I’m Fat Freddy’s Cat
    And I ain’t no kitty.

    Heeeere kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!
    Don’t embarrass me
    In the middle of the city

    Heeeere kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!
    I can make it roough on you
    If you’re gonna act shitty.

    I’ll track your records up with my paws
    and I’ll pop your waterbed with my claws
    I’ll shed more fur every time you sweep
    And I’ll sit on your face while you’re alseep.

    I’ll shit in your shoe
    And I’ll pee in your hat
    And I’ll spray the whole house
    With ‘essence of cat’

    Do you wann eat your crunchies?
    Do you wanna buy a duck?
    C’mon kitty eat your crunchies
    C’mon Freddie, let’s eat.

    Jesus: Hey, Dad? God: Yes, Son? Jesus: Western civilization followed me home. Can I keep it? God: Certainly not! And put it down this minute--you don't know where it's been! Tom Robbins in Another Roadside Attraction

  • #296053

    HassleCat
    Member
    • Total Posts: 2,872
    @hasslecat

    Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope. We should be able to come up with an appropriate paraphrase for corona virus quarantine.

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