Health Ins To Watch Patient Battle Cancer

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    • #919
      • Total Posts: 483

      HARTFORD, CT—Creating an electric and intimidating atmosphere with their cheers and vocal cries for blood, throngs of health insurance executives reportedly crowded into a massive outdoor coliseum on Aetna’s corporate campus Monday to watch one of their policyholders engage in a life-or-death fight against cancer.

      Sources confirmed that the stone arena was filled to capacity for the highly anticipated spectacle, with over 90,000 officials attending from providers as far away as WellPoint, Kaiser Permanente, and HCSC to see if the patient could survive an intense, brutal struggle with the advanced stage III illness.

      “Today we bring you one of our most thrilling challengers to date: a 57-year-old caucasian male with preexisting high blood pressure and a family history of heart disease,” said Blue Cross Blue Shield CEO Scott Serota from an extravagantly decorated box seat, his booming voice immediately silencing the raucous masses of middle-aged executives. “He holds a privately purchased Aetna PPO with a $400 monthly premium and $1,500 annual deductible, but faces the fight of his life against an aggressive form of multiple myeloma, one of the most ruthless killers known to man.”

      “Bring out Aetna member #ABP80424!” Serota continued as the withered patient was wheeled into the sand-filled arena on a small gurney to loud boos and whistles. “Let the battle commence!”

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      Fuck the DNC and its heard of goats

    • #929
      NV Wino
      • Total Posts: 8,258

      Hope she sues.

      “As we act, let us not become the evil that we deplore.” Barbara Lee
      “Politicians and pro athletes: The only people who still get paid when they lose.” William Rivers Pitt

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