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Home Main Forums General Discussion I Think You All Owe Debbie Wasserman Schultz an Apology

  • MannyGoldstein (2256 posts)
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    I Think You All Owe Debbie Wasserman Schultz an Apology

    Dear friends,

    A short tale: One of my childhood friends owned a dog. A really, really dumb dog, who really, really liked food.

    When the adults were gone, we’d have a little fun with the beast, well-fed but ever-hungry, by serving it hot-sauce-filled bologna bombs: lay out a slice of bologna, sprinkle on a few drops of hot sauce, then roll the thing up and feed to the begger. Yum, bologna! Ouch, hot sauce! After a chowing down on a few of these wince-evoking concoctions, the dog fully knew what was in store when it saw the rolled-up bologna, and would eye it with the most eager and anxious look, the gears turning in its head: It’s meat: I gotta eat it!!! But it’s hot sauce: I can’t eat it!!! But it’s meat: I gotta… After a few moments, it was over; the meat won, and the dog lost.

    And it never learned.

    Never learned.

    Watching the Republicans wrestle with ObamaCare in recent weeks… the looks on their faces brings back memories of the hot-sauce fated dog: It’s ObamaCare: we gotta repeal it!!!  But it was dreamed up by a fringe-right “think” tank: we can’t repeal it!!! But it’s ObamaCare, we gotta…

    If Republicans allow ObamaCare to stay, their base will see them as the LIARS they are, and they’ll finally vote for HER. If they repeal it, a sizable portion of their base loses stuff they’re getting now and will really vote for HER next time, no, seriously, stop laughing you sound like a hyena. Either way, it’s all over for them: come the 2018 and 2020 elections, they’re toast.

    Checkmate, Republicans!

    Now it may seem like the Republicans stupidly blundered into their certain demise, but NO! I’ve been sent by some very important people to reveal the truth: this was no accident. It was engineered, every last detail of it, by HER personal assistant, the smartest gal of all:

    Yes!!! It’s Debs!!!

    Beyond her better-known achievements like inventing the microprocessor and the first practical flying car, Debbie Wasserman Schultz has laid waste to the Republican Party!

    Sure, every sentient being thinks that her extraordinary incompetence was the reason we lost the Presidency, both houses of Congress, most state and local elections, school boards, solid waste commissions, animal control departments, treehouses, etc. etc. etc. But conscious thought is a dangerous thing: look where it got Stephen Hawking! I’ll bet that now he’s not feeling so great about thinking all those great big thoughts! Just remember that, Proles!

    In any case, wrong again, Berners!!! It turns out that Debs is our party’s savior, and not the most staggeringly-awful person to run a political party in the history of our planet!

    Debbie Wasserman Schultz lost every election she could possibly influence as part of a very-conscious STRATEGY to get Republicans back into power, just so they could permanently destroy themselves again by having to make this terrible choice over Obamacare.

    They will have to decide. Then, whatever their decision, once again they’ll be DESTROYED forever, exactly like they were after the 2011 and 2012 fiscal cliff crises they created, the 2013 government shutdown they forced, and all of the other stuff they’ve done. Destroyed. Forever. Again. They never learn, do they?

    They never learn.

    And here we are! On the precipice of another glorious triumph!

    So now that it’s clear that your Birkenstock Gestapo’s accusations against Debs were simply MISOGYNISTIC*, please send her a lot of money to cheer her up. Just send it care of HER, we’ll make sure it goes to the appropriate place.

    Regards,

    Third-Way Manny

     

    *AND RACIST!!! Thought you were off the hook on that? Fooled you, didn’t I!!!

    Major Hogwash, nashvillebrook, baran and 59 othersWhen Crabs Roar, Odd John, 4Sibes, libodem, Punxsutawney, ravensong, beemerphill, ctsnowman, ThatGuy888, Satan, a2liberal, WillyT, Deadpool, TIME TO PANIC, pacalo, bvar22, kjg, Go Vols, Two way street, disillusioned73, GoodWitch, Hari, Betty Karlson, Ichingcarpenter, Land of Enchantment, Phlem, jeff47, closeupready, misanthroptimist, h-32, Sweeties Mama, GloriaMundi, Enthusiast, Scuba, Tuesday, kishcreek, nxylas, turtlegurl, glinda, BiaviiansGalore, madfloridian, bbgrunt, VoiceOfReason, 7wo7rees, daleanime, OzoneTom, twenty, azurnoir, Haikugal, ReTooled, hypergrove, ThomPaine, Marym625, ChefEric, broiles, Baba OhReally, RadicleFantast, jdpriestly, SandersDem like this
    "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it" - Upton Sinclair

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    • SandersDem (685 posts)
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      1. ok damn you Manny…

      just the title made me snort cola out me nose.

    • SandersDem (685 posts)
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      2. Ok Third Way Manny, You WIN

      DWSApology

      • Marym625 (21689 posts)
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        8. Bawhaha!

        Oi245KQ-1 "Once the decision was made to go into Iraq as an invader and occupier,  it’s like our nation lost its conscience. And it has not yet gotten that conscience back." Madfloridian  
    • elias39 (3217 posts)
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      3. It's true. We never learn!

      “Name, no, nothing is nameable, tell, no, nothing can be told, what then, I don't know, I shouldn't have begun.” ― Samuel Beckett, Stories and Texts for Nothing
    • RadicleFantast (1324 posts)
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      4. Oh, no. No. No. No.

      Her plan is only partly completed. Dems need to lose those remaining seats; then they will totally blame free, and the Reps will reap the consequences of total control.

      • Enthusiast (8332 posts)
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        20. Perfect!

        "The NSA’s capability at any time could be turned around on the American people, and no American would have any privacy left, such is the capability to monitor everything. There would be no place to hide."  Frank Church
      • Seshat (388 posts)
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        26. The Dems are already in their "happy place".

        They are in control of nothing. They have no responsibility for anything. They can use The Donald’s every insane tweet to raise money. What more could they want?

    • broiles (752 posts)
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      5. Manny, you crack me up.

    • Pacco Fransisco (3646 posts)
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      6. Dirty Debbie does DNC …it's alt-neo-lib porn.

      I am L0oniX  Fuck David and his pin head DLC 3rd way herd of goats
      • ThomPaine (3554 posts)
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        11. Yuck yuck yuck. Now I will have to rinse my brain out with vodka again.

        aka rhett o rick.     The rich treat us like ants. They may avoid stepping on us, but if our home is in the way of their new swimming pool, we can kiss our ants goodbye.
        • MannyGoldstein (2256 posts)
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          23. I hope it worked out! nt

          "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it" - Upton Sinclair
      • Ohio Barbarian (3242 posts)
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        16. Or Dirty Debbie does The Donald.

        I’ll bet a paycheck he has fantasies about her.

        "Identity politics is the last refuge of the politically incompetent."  --Me, with a hat tip to Isaac Asimov  
        • Seshat (388 posts)
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          27. That would make a damn good porn movie.

          • dlegendary1 (922 posts)
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            33. It'll be like a german porno

            my question is who’s gonna be fisting who?

      • Enthusiast (8332 posts)
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        21. + one brazillion!

        "The NSA’s capability at any time could be turned around on the American people, and no American would have any privacy left, such is the capability to monitor everything. There would be no place to hide."  Frank Church
    • cascadiance (2187 posts)
      Profile photo of cascadiance Donor

      7. Responding to TWM in a Third way way…. (that's way way!) :)

      She couldn’t have put her pal Jar Jar in any of these elections or she might have upset this strategy…  Maybe she will run with Jar Jar as her running mate to help us win in 2020!  :P

      But maybe they’ll try this winning combo instead…

      Or try to do a combination with one of these…

      Vote AGAINST the race to the bottom by both corporate parties who seek to screw workers over globally!                                                                                  
      • id-entity (2047 posts)
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        18. The Jar Jar Binks Sith theory

        sure, but what does that tell about TWM, who and what is the OP poster really is?

        Disclaimer: You are free to reproduce, distribute, interpret, misinterpret, distort, garble, do what you like, even claim authorship, without my consent or the permission of anybody.
      • glinda (1792 posts)
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        19. These are hysterical!

        Animals know more than we do. - Native American proverb
      • Silver Witch (4835 posts)
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        30. I happen to like Jar Jar Binks and Debbie Wasserman is NO Jar Jar.

        #Let'sTalkRevolution
    • Marym625 (21689 posts)
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      9. Debbie does!

      Oi245KQ-1 "Once the decision was made to go into Iraq as an invader and occupier,  it’s like our nation lost its conscience. And it has not yet gotten that conscience back." Madfloridian  
    • Selahedin (744 posts)
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      10. You had me at bologna, Manny.

    • oldandhappy (3223 posts)
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      12. DNC is not learning.

    • ThomPaine (3554 posts)
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      13. Manny, Manny, Manny, and just when I thought the medications were starting

      to work.

      aka rhett o rick.     The rich treat us like ants. They may avoid stepping on us, but if our home is in the way of their new swimming pool, we can kiss our ants goodbye.
    • area woman (4261 posts)
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      14. Who let Third Way Manny out of his crate? Not only is he posting threads,

      but he crapped all over the floor and got at the toilet paper in the mod bathroom. If I have to clean up after one more Third Way Manny TP party, there will be hell to pay.

      I'm so cute I shit kittens.
      • GoodWitch (956 posts)
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        25. It might not be the #RealThirdWayManny

        Might be a playful troll from Macedonia

        Make America THINK again
      • Marym625 (21689 posts)
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        38. LMAO!

        :roflmao:

        Oi245KQ-1 "Once the decision was made to go into Iraq as an invader and occupier,  it’s like our nation lost its conscience. And it has not yet gotten that conscience back." Madfloridian  
    • ReTooled (725 posts)
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      15. My girl, Debs

      You are sooooooooo special!

      #FreeLeonardPeltier  #NoDAPL
    • VoiceOfReason (989 posts)
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      17. that is simply not true

      everybody knows that al gore invented the microprocessor.

      "Men who do evil brilliantly are often admired"  Voltaire BERN BABY BERN!!  War is madness!
    • Enthusiast (8332 posts)
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      22. Recommended! Hilarious!

      "The NSA’s capability at any time could be turned around on the American people, and no American would have any privacy left, such is the capability to monitor everything. There would be no place to hide."  Frank Church
    • HIP56948 (2315 posts)
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      24. To this day, she still reminds me of Don Rickles. Difference is, I like Don

    • MrMickeysMom (1438 posts)
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      28. Yo, Deb!

      Here’s something sincerely for you…

      Hell no...I'm not giving up...     cat-gif-238.gif giphy.gif
    • Silver Witch (4835 posts)
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      29. Deleted

      Self-censored.

      #Let'sTalkRevolution
    • Ichingcarpenter (3815 posts)
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      31. Why and How is Stephen Hawking still alive?

      And why does he want us not to search for aliens? and says A.I. will destroy mankind?  Does he know Debbie?

       

    • ctsnowman (421 posts)
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      32. Exellent

      Army and Navy veteran and a proud liberal.
    • libodem (1017 posts)
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      34. Here's a big hug

      Come here you.

      Hold still.

      Stop squirming.

      Alright. Already.

      Jeesh.

      • Snort McDork (2307 posts)
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        35. You want me to do what?

        To that B****?

        Now that is funny. roflmao

        On Edit, I didn’t know Manny was a hockey puke. Thanks for reminding us of that Rickles dude.

        • MannyGoldstein (2256 posts)
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          40. Hockey puke?

          I’ve been known to laugh so hard at hockey games that I almost puke, but I’m not sure what you’re referring to?

          "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it" - Upton Sinclair
          • Snort McDork (2307 posts)
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            42. Hockey Puck-Don Rickles?

            Spelling error. P-U-C-K

            • MannyGoldstein (2256 posts)
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              43. Ah, yes, that was Don

              Funny as hell – but I never understood it.

              "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it" - Upton Sinclair
    • d3lic (1145 posts)
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      36. That was some read.

      Yet DWS seems to win. I can see why she’s confident.

      After all that, she won the Dem primary contest against her.

      (y’know, when I first started getting into US politics after getting hooked on Air America and Rachel Maddow – I followed Rachel to MSNBC thinking wow,  Olbermann is on fire and now Maddow, that’s … kinda going somewhere. Then it was on Rachel’s shows that I first saw DWS and I thought, Olbermann, Maddow, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, these are forward thinkers and I was invested in a lot of good feeling for DWS.  At my age, at that time, I shouldn’t have been so fucking naive.)

      But even if she didn’t, I suspect she’d win anyway a la Joe Lieberman.  With the Dems nobody on the left is dealing with straight shooters.

    • Marym625 (21689 posts)
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      37. I really wish i didn't know that about the poor dog.

      Boys. I tell ya. SMDH

      Oi245KQ-1 "Once the decision was made to go into Iraq as an invader and occupier,  it’s like our nation lost its conscience. And it has not yet gotten that conscience back." Madfloridian  
    • PatrynXX (427 posts)
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      39. Feel like Terrible Lie by NIN

      and that big apology

       

      So far the only good she’s done it take a photo of Ali Jr on a plane moments before he was detained at an airport and anyone coulda done that

    • FanBoy (7985 posts)
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      41. isn't the real moral that there were some mean higher ups who kept

      giving hot sauce to the dog?

      (cleverly hidden in a roll of bologna?)

      dog = rank and file democrats

      mean boys = democratic leadership