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  • Hobbit709 (2237 posts)
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    According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind.

    The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator, who dragged him underwater and drowned him.

    Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM this morning, but his disappearance was noticed only an hour later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30.

    “The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position,” Captain White told reporters. “He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance! We can see him being dragged in the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack.”

    I won't shut up and I don't waste my time teaching pigs to sing

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7 replies
  • Jan Boehmermann (3578 posts)
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    1. Jimmy will be missed!

  • HassleCat (934 posts)
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    2. If this story is real, it's damned funny!

    Not for Jimmy, of course.

    • Jan Boehmermann (3578 posts)
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      3. I talked to Clark Kent at the "Daily Planet" and he confirmed the story.

  • NV Wino (3648 posts)
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    4. But what is Superman going to do without Jimmy?

  • GoodWitch (956 posts)
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    5. Candidate for Darwin awards nt

    Make America THINK again
  • NV Wino (3648 posts)
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    6. Umm?

    Although Mr. Olsen’s is the first zoo worker to die while having sexual intercourse with an animal, he is not the first one to be implicated in an incident implicating bestiality.

    In 2002, three employees of the Columbus zoo were condemned, after it was revealed that the zookeepers allowed people into the zoo after business hours for the purpose of copulating with the animals.

    This can’t be real. If it is, Florida Man has out done himself.

  • Green Dog Dem (3276 posts)
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    7. I've heard of trouser snakes, but this is ridiculous!

    Aloha! KamaAina in the hale (house).