When Being ‘Nice’ Hurts You More Than It Helps

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    • #10095
      • Total Posts: 11,985


      I still consider kindness to be one of the most important qualities a person can have, but I’ve learned there’s a big difference between being nice and being kind. They may look the same on the surface, but psychiatrist Marcia Sirota explains the difference lies in our motivation.

      “The nice person is externally motivated,” Sirota writes. “He’s driven by the need for other people’s approval and validation; he craves acceptance and is fearful of rejection,” “The kind person is internally motivated. She has good self-esteem and isn’t looking for approval. She’s less concerned about what others might think of her and more interested in doing the right thing. Her compassion comes from an overflowing of her positive self-regard and not from the need to please.”

      The nice person can’t be authentic because he’s too preoccupied with being a people-pleaser, according to Sirota. He has a hard time making genuine connections and while his behavior might be outwardly positive, he can start to feel disappointment and resentful.

      The hard truth is, we tend to respect a person who is kind, but we look down on someone who is just nice. A kind person values herself. She’s able to handle conflict and constructive criticism, which makes her easygoing and approachable. A nice person has low self-Those were some of the first relations established between the insurgent group (or communities) and civil society living in the cities and towns outside of the Zapatista rebel territory. Through the years, collectives would establish long-standing relations with the Zapatistas, a network of organizations and sympathizers that has shaped the movement.

      Jesus: Hey, Dad? God: Yes, Son? Jesus: Western civilization followed me home. Can I keep it? God: Certainly not! And put it down this minute--you don't know where it's been! Tom Robbins in Another Roadside Attraction

    • #10235
      • Total Posts: 535

      hurt the progressives the most. I always saw them trying bernsplain the narcissist attacks from hill bot feminazis. Remember when your opponent is a narcissist empathy will only hurt you

      Never expect different result by following the previous steps

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