JPR Mental Health Support Group

Anxiety and fear

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    • #449494
      David the Gnome
      • Total Posts: 3,532

      Waking up this morning, the first thing I noticed was that, cool, I slept for seven hours.  The next thing was… anxiety.  Many mornings, it gets intense shortly after waking.  It was an 8 on a scale of one to ten.  Feels more like a 4 or 5 now.

      My thoughts chase each other in circles in my head.  What is that pain in my chest?  Anxiety.  Why am I coughing?  Because I smoke, really got to quit again.  Why do I obsess about everything so much?  I wish I knew.


      Every day I am doing my best to improve.  Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, walking – I even tried QiGong (YouTube videos) for the first time yesterday – it was pretty cool.  I’m trying to eat a little better, to focus more, to let go of the greater part of my stress and find acceptance.

      All the while I am asking myself… Will I ever really get better?  Can I?  All of this effort, even the therapy and medication, yet some times I still feel like a total basket case.

      I want to begin a career some day.  I would like to write books – but often the struggle with, well, myself, consumes most of my energy and focus.  Read more so I think less.  Move more to improve how I feel, do better (at least try to) every day.

      Some times it is so exhausting…

      Still, I am really fighting back for the first time in years.  I am no longer content with my old self narrative, of being weak, disabled, broken.  I am determined to be better.  At the very least, I am learning to accept my feelings more than I outright ignore and reject them.

      Eh.  Life is strange and so am I.  Thanks for reading!

    • #449523
      • Total Posts: 9,912

      You write well. Fictionalize it – “Ten Years to Chaos” or something with a theme that resonates with you.

      You have much written you can already use as your character struggles, and your next to last paragraph would be a great ending for your book.

      I’d buy it!

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