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New “Charter Prisons” Initiative Announced By Trump Administration

  • N2Doc (4724 posts)
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    New “Charter Prisons” Initiative Announced By Trump Administration

    In an effort to expand the choices available to communities for imprisoning their citizens, the Trump administration today announced a new initiative to encourage entrepreneurs to come up with new ways of locking people up.

    The brainchild of Attorney General Sessions and Education Secretary De Vos, the new “Charter Prisons” will allow enterprising businessmen and women to hold humans in unique and novel ways that the federal prison system hasn’t tried yet.

    Said Attorney General Sessions: “Let’s face it. The same old, same old system of just putting people in cells is not getting the job done. These new Charter Prisons allow creative administrators the freedom to make smart choices. For instance, someone might want to start a prison that keeps people in giant properly-ventilated Tupperware containers. Or perhaps they have a unique way to use caves. How about an old rundown amusement park? Right now, if you have a new idea like that, there is no way to try it out. And that is a shame.”

    “Just the other day, I was having lunch with a friend, and they said ‘Why can’t we just send these people to the moon in rocket ships and be done with them once and for all?’ With Charter Prisons, we can try new ideas like that and see if they work.”




    leveymg, Silver Witch like this
    "But nothing ever changes unless there's some pain" - Tears For Fears "Goodnight Song"

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  • Silver Witch (5417 posts)
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    1. Better than the Onion…

    Thank you!

  • leveymg (3457 posts)
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    2. Don't give them any ideas. They're behind in promises kept.

    Why not just turn charter academies into prisons, and save costs?  Almost bizarre enough to be true.